I know, I know, everybody knows how to fry a turkey.
But I would be remiss if I didn't caution you in the strongest words I can that frying a turkey -- a whole bird -- is not safe for small animals or little children. In fact, it's a tad dangerous.
So here's a quick checklist of things to remember when frying a turkey, especially if it's your first time. Tape this list to the refrigerator and keep it until next year when I do this again.
Send any kids or pets into the house and lock the door. The last thing you want is a bunch of small creatures running around a pot of boiling oil. Likewise tell your favorite uncle, the one who gets into the Christmas cheer a little earlier than most folks, to stay inside with the kids. You don't want anybody who can't pass a field sobriety test anywhere near the pot. Make sure the turkey is thawed completely before you dunk it in the oil. Any ice -- any -- still in the bird will react violently with the grease and the outcome won't be pretty. Don't overfill the pot. Fill it no more than half way and a little less is actually bettter. It can boil over. Another way is to put the turkey in the empty pot and fill with water to get the level. Make a mark and don't fill more than the mark. Concentrate. Timing is critical in turkey frying so either pay close attention to the time (3 to 3½ minutes per pound) or find somebody more reliable than you and charge them with the task of time keeping. Take the oil's temperature regularly. Try to maintain a temperature of about 340 degrees if possible. Don't let it drop below about 320 or get above 360 degrees.
